Questions to get to know each other better

36 Questions to get to know each other better (in a relationship)

It may sound a little crazy, but this is a questionnaire that can make you fall in love with someone. The psychologist Arthur Aron used this questionnaire to make two people fall in love with each other in his laboratory.

He devised the following experiment :

You sit opposite each other and ask each other 36 questions.

The idea of ‚Äč‚Äčthese questions is that you get to know each other better because you both have to be vulnerable. Then, in the last part of the test, you stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes. A number of his test objects actually got into a relationship via this method.

These questions have since been used in hundreds of studies and have become world famous. A reporter from the New York Times recently said that she fell in love with these questions.

Cool right?

The questions are below. They are divided into three sets, each set being slightly more intimate than the previous one.

Here are the 36 questions to fall in love with

  • If you could choose from everyone in the world, who would you want to eat out with?
  • Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  • Before you call someone, do you sometimes practice the conversation in advance? Why?
  • What would a perfect day look like for you?
  • When did you last sing for yourself? Or for someone else?
  • If you had the opportunity to turn ninety and you would have the mind or body of a thirty year old, what would you choose?
  • Do you have a secret premonition about how you might die later?
  • Name three things that you have in common.
  • What are you most grateful for in your life?
  • If you could change the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • Try to tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible in four minutes.
  • If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or a new quality, what would that be?
  • If you had a glass ball that could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future or any other subject, what would you like to know?
  • Are you dreaming about something that you would like to do for a very long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?
  • What is the greatest achievement of your life?
  • What do you value most in a friendship?
  • If you should choose one, what is your best memory?
  • What is your most terrible memory?
  • If you knew that in a year’s time you would suddenly die, would you change something about how you now live your life? Why?
  • What does friendship mean to you?
  • What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • Share features of your conversation partner that you think are positive. Share five things in total.
  • How intimate and warm was your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than that of most people?
  • How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  • Make three statements per person with “we”. For example: “We are both in this space and we feel …”
  • Complete the following sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share that …”
  • Tell the person with whom you are important what he / she should know if you became good friends.
  • Tell the person with whom you are what you like about them. Be very honest and say things you might not just say to someone you’ve just met.
  • Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
  • When did you last cry in front of someone else? When for yourself?
  • Tell the person you are with something that you already enjoy about him.
  • What is too serious at all times to make jokes about?
  • If you were to die this evening without the ability to communicate with others, what would you have said to whom? Why haven’t you told us this yet?
  • Your house with everything in it is set on fire. After saving your loved ones and your pets, you still have time to go inside once to save one more thing. What would it be and why?
  • Of everyone in your family, whose death would you find the worst and why?
  • Share a personal problem and ask the person you are with and how they would deal with it. Also ask if he wants to reflect on how you seemed to feel about the problem you have chosen.

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