While we think our judgments about someone are based on the content of our conversations, research says something else. The majority of our judgments are based on smaller, more subtle things, such as a handshake and body language.
Therefore, no matter how hard we try to incorporate good habits into our lives, we must also be aware of the little things that others judge our personality about. These unconscious habits have gradually become a big part of who you are, and if you are not too concerned about it, now is a good time to do so, because they might give you a completely different picture of you than who you actually are.
This is what people unconsciously pay attention to when you judge your personality:
How to treat receptionists, secretaries and waiters
How you deal with service staff is a good indication of how you are put together. So good that it has become a widely used part of job applications.
When you watch how you communicate with subordinate personnel when you enter or leave the building, a manager gets a good idea of how you treat people in general. Most people act a little when they conduct the job interview with the manager – or other ‘important’ people – but some show themselves from a completely different side when they then walk out of the building and treat others with dedain or indifference. This also comes to light with business lunches.
It doesn’t matter how nice you are to the people you have lunch with,
How often you check your telephone
There is nothing more frustrating than someone who constantly checks his phone in the middle of a conversation. If you do, it shows no evidence of respect, attention, listening qualities and willpower. So unless it’s an emergency, it’s wise to keep your phone in your pocket.
A study by Elon University confirms that bringing out your phone during a conversation undermines both the quality and quantity of face-to-face conversations.
Bite your nails
Certain repetitive, nervous traits can tell a lot about someone’s personality. Whether you are constantly playing with your hair, biting your nails and plucking your skin, it can come across as impatient, frustrated, bored or dissatisfied.
Incidentally, it can’t just happen that way, it can really be that way … Take the nail biting. According to a study, nail biters are generally perfectionist, but also tense and often nervous. Maybe a good argument to (finally) finish it?
What your shoes look like
According to psychologists you can judge someone by looking at his or her shoes. According to research from the University of Kansas you can tell with the style, color, quality and condition of someone’s shoes with almost 90% certainty what someone’s income, political preference and even age is.
It also seems that you can see from the soles of someone’s shoe how they fit together . People who are not so confident often lean forward. They put more weight on the ball of their foot, as if they can run away at any moment. People who are confident, lean back a bit more. They put more weight on their heels. Someone who mainly walks on the ball of his or her feet has soles that are more worn at the front, while a confident person has worn heels.
How long it takes before you ask a question
Even if someone doesn’t say anything about his or her personality in a conversation, you can learn something about someone’s personality based on the content of the conversation. When you meet someone for the first time, take a look at how long it takes for that person to ask you a question. This reveals a lot about whether that person is a ‘giver’ or a ‘taker’. This allows you to distinguish between ‘people who like you’ and ‘people who like what you have to offer them’.
To be late
If you arrive late for a business appointment, it can seem uninterested and lazy. On the other hand there is another study (it will not happen) of San Diego State University by Jeff Conte. He reveals that being late is typical for people who are multi-tasking or just very relaxed. These people are often late because time seems to go slower for them, at least that’s how they feel. In other words: you should not worry too much if people arrive late. It is better to ask why that is than to immediately draw conclusions.
How to shake a hand
People who give you a firm hand, exude confidence and have a strong and confident character. These people are also more often extroverted and expressive when it comes to their emotions. People who give a weak hand have little confidence and often choose the easy way.