“But I do not have time to date anyway!” I sigh, when a friend suggests that it might be exactly what I need. I also find myself very busy with the education and enjoyment of Emma’s princesses, three days in paid employment, my own company and sport. Old Sophie would have said: “That is excuses, you make it a story!” And to be fair, in some important things Sophie was really a lot better than new Sophie. Like stress-free living, enjoying the moment, being loving, not condemning, etc. Old Sophie was a hippie, but it’s quite useful skills for a happy life. And old Sophie would go dating on Tinder now, so okay, mom Tinder goes .
single mom dating tips and advices
Create a tinder profile
If you are dating on Tinder, you must create a profile. You can select a number of photos and write a text about who you are. Here I have put some things about myself in key words. You can of course choose not to mention that you are mommy, but I have used it. Nice and open and transparent. Do not like it, fine! We both continue a little further 😉.
The first impressions on this meat inspection platform were a bit “meh”. I was a bit too old in Sophie style. Give everyone a chance. Try not to judge on appearance, tattoos, training, etcetera. Soon I learned that a number of road mark criteria apply to me as a swiping mum on Tinder and that I should not be too open-minded.
Serious dating way it’s:
- Naked upper body selfies, especially those with a toilet in the background (the picture in your swimsuit in the sea by someone else is still possible);
- More than one photo with alcohol;
- Photos on purpose to show tattoos / piercings;
- Anyone who is “between jobs” or “director at self-employed”;
- Only party photos;
- Men who put photos of their children on Tinder, because hello … privacy of your child? Never thought about it? Nothing for Sophie, gone.
- Men who make sexist jokes in their text or simply indicated only to do some physical interaction;
- Men who clearly state that they want to have a child, because I’m not really that fast yet and then I will really feel like a brooder / tool;
- And the last thing I’m least proud of: if I’m not at least a bit attractive … Also gone.
Road, road, road, road … I probably miss someone who is nice because of these criteria, but it saves a lot of time. Because all those matches are going to talk to you too!
Dating on Tinder: the Matches
If you like each other (swipe right), you have a match. A big advantage is that since I have used the strict criteria as above, nobody immediately starts talking about sex. So I can really recommend them! Except of course if that would be exactly what you are looking for. Then make your own criteria to delete. That makes dating on Tinder a lot easier.
Perhaps you now think that at most one man will remain after all these criteria, if you are lucky. But nothing is less true! There are just a lot of men on Tinder, and before I knew it I already knew about 200 matches. And the nice thing is, they are actually mainly intelligent people with whom you can really have a conversation.
It is only a bit of an overkill to date them all too. But really, I can recommend all single moms. In any case, a little chat with a mountain of matches at Tinder is already very pleasant. But seeing what is out there can not hurt either 😛. And to be honest, the evenings can sometimes be a bit lonely when the house is ready and you do not have to work.
Dating on Tinder: the conversations
I mentioned it already, you will then address each other. If you are not going to talk to your matches, you are mainly collecting a few profiles. Despite my intention to talk to everyone, it is perhaps possible to imagine that talking with 200 matches takes a lot of time. So I also guessed that I did not speak to anyone. I was pretty business-like. As soon as I got the “nah” feeling, I indicated this and removed the match. Easy.
But what do you say to each other? What is your opening sentence on Tinder? When I started a conversation, I usually asked a question about something from the profile. And I thought it was the best conversations when they did that to me. The question “How are you?” Or something to that effect, I find quite a buster if you do not know each other yet. I had a lot of very nice conversations! So that is why it is really recommended!
The first date
Now I have had my first date on Sunday, after weeks of apping! Okay, he was not as divinely handsome as on the pictures I had seen 100 times. But much better and more charming than I expected about the app. So all in all, there will certainly be a second date, if at least it’s me.
The side effect of dating on Tinder or other dating sites
It may sound a bit crazy, but I really bloom since I date again. Not as if I was so incredibly unhappy or lonely, but I was just very little concerned with myself. And dating is also a way to get to know yourself a bit better. Men ask you questions, which you yourself do not just have an answer to and so you start thinking about it.
Now that I know more about myself, I can work on taking back the good things of old Sophie, and combining them with the new (and therefore for Emma) caring things for the new Sophie.
What Tinder may not be good for 😉. Oh and I will definitely keep you informed about a possible second date. Any tips for dating moms? Anyone?