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Lifestyle Venus

Start Doing These Things for Yourself, especially if you are a (young) mother

Making time for yourself is always important (because: #selfcare), but perhaps that is even more important if you are a mother. We explain why it is so important to keep doing things for yourself and of course: a few handy tips on how to do that.

Life – especially with toddlers running around – can sometimes be quite overwhelming. If you free up little or no time for yourself, you will run out at a certain point.

Also read : 13 things all men need to know about pregnant woman

Why it is important to do things for yourself

Load

It is not for nothing that many psychologists and scientists argue in favor of always doing something for yourself. Right as a mother. After all, you need time to recharge.

It makes you happy

Do you like to read books ? Schedule a moment for it every day ( tip : not just before you go to sleep so that you fall asleep after one minute). Do you enjoy cycling, discovering new cities or just enjoying a day at the sauna ?

Continue to make this a priority. An exhausted you makes no one happy. We bet that after such a wonderful activity for yourself you can go full of energy again?

Great for you and for your children.

An example for your children
In the busy life with poop diapers , school, work, washing, cooking, eating and putting children to bed it is quite easy (read: almost inevitable) that you occasionally forget yourself. After all, you want to do well for your children. But are you really doing it in the best way by running past yourself completely and giving up everything for your children?

A mother who does not make time for herself and gives up everything for her children may not reflect the image you want to give to your child. It is healthy to keep doing things for yourself. You are more than a mother. You are also a woman. You can tell your children what you want, but studies show that they copy 80% of their parents’ behavior and 20% listen to ‘upbringing’.

Also read : 5 Single mom dating tips

Time to reflect

A moment of peace is a moment to reflect and reflect on what you have. When you are in the middle of the whirlwind, it is sometimes difficult to realize what you actually have and may be grateful for. By looking at life occasionally from a distance, you create space to see what you already have.

Remember that you are still you and not just a mother, wife or employee. That you keep doing things for yourself does not make you a bad mother. In fact: you set a good example for your children, you can never teach them about Enough early enough . You do you!

You can do these things

Of course, everyone will be happy with other things, but these are at least our favorite activities so that we can catch our breath and recharge ourselves.

  • walk : take an afternoon to walk through the woods, park or on the beach. The fresh wind and the sloshing waves always do us good.
  • Reading : whether it is a book or a magazine, reading ensures that you are completely in the moment and forget about external stimuli.
  • Go on the road and discover : did you know that our brain is happy with new events? Seeing a new landscape (from the waters in Friesland to the hills in Limburg or a museum in The Hague to a new coffee shop near you).
  • Wellness : no matter how you get used to it: practically doing little on a day and being pampered with steam baths, saunas, a pedicure or perhaps a massage almost everyone will be happy. There are few things that work as effectively as this quick fix .

Do not plan things that make you happy unless you run exhausted behind the facts. Preferably schedule them at least once a week.

Happy mom, happy children!

Categories
Dating and Relationships Venus

5 Single mom dating tips

Some women consciously choose to stay alone after a divorce. This applies equally to single mothers. They no longer feel like doing that with men and they choose to throw themselves into their children.

The lack of faith in love or just a lack of time. It can all be reasons not to date a single mother anymore. Yet there are also plenty of women, who are also single mothers , who would prefer to be with a man. For this group we have a number of tips for when you are dating.

Dating as a single mother

1# Go out

Don’t you like dating apps? Then go out with friends. Make sure you meet men. This can of course also be just on a birthday. Make sure you are among the people. Arrange a babysitter or plan your outings if you don’t have the children.

2# Present yourself as a woman

This sounds pretty logical, but we are quickly placed in the single mother’s box. We are also single mothers, but in the first place you are yourself. A woman who is also a mother. You can introduce yourself as a single mother, but it is better to present yourself as an independent, tough, sexy or whatever for a woman who also has children.

Make work of yourself. Choose a nice outfit during the date , tutor yourself and enjoy the exciting anticipation.

3# Date in a nice location

Choosing a location where you feel comfortable makes you feel more relaxed. Certainly if you haven’t dated for a long time, it can be a bit awkward. Even though you got to know each other during some party; meeting together for the first time can be very exciting. So choose a place that you feel comfortable with.

4# Be honest

You can tell the first night that you have children, if he doesn’t already know. Is so honest and tidy. Does he not want that? A pity, but that is true. You deserve someone who is open to your children, even if they are not his. You may not be looking for a replacement father for your children, but that man may one day have to deal with your children. He must want this and you must find it worth it!

By the way, be careful not to burn your ex completely, even though your ex is really a loser because of all that weird behavior. Be dosed honestly. If you immediately tell everything open and uncovered it may come across to him differently than you mean. That would be a waste.

5# Take it easy

Your life has changed. You are usually busy with work and the children. As a result, you soon have less time than women without children. Try to get your benefits out of this. It is rarely a good idea to rush into a relationship. Take advantage of the situation and take the time to get to know each other. Wait to introduce your children until you have more certainty that your relationship has a good chance of success.

Above all, enjoy the time together before you fully integrate it into your family life. No one can determine when it is time to introduce him to your children, but some caution is advisable for your children.

Go and enjoy this exciting time. Who knows, you might meet him and have a great time together. Lots of fun!

Categories
Dating and Relationships Venus

Single mom dating tips on Tinder – Mission possible

“But I do not have time to date anyway!” I sigh, when a friend suggests that it might be exactly what I need. I also find myself very busy with the education and enjoyment of Emma’s princesses, three days in paid employment, my own company and sport. Old Sophie would have said: “That is excuses, you make it a story!” And to be fair, in some important things Sophie was really a lot better than new Sophie. Like stress-free living, enjoying the moment, being loving, not condemning, etc. Old Sophie was a hippie, but it’s quite useful skills for a happy life. And old Sophie would go dating on Tinder now, so okay, mom Tinder goes .

single mom dating tips and advices

Create a tinder profile

If you are dating on Tinder, you must create a profile. You can select a number of photos and write a text about who you are. Here I have put some things about myself in key words. You can of course choose not to mention that you are mommy, but I have used it. Nice and open and transparent. Do not like it, fine! We both continue a little further 😉.

First impression

The first impressions on this meat inspection platform were a bit “meh”. I was a bit too old in Sophie style. Give everyone a chance. Try not to judge on appearance, tattoos, training, etcetera. Soon I learned that a number of road mark criteria apply to me as a swiping mum on Tinder and that I should not be too open-minded.

Serious dating way it’s:

  • Naked upper body selfies, especially those with a toilet in the background (the picture in your swimsuit in the sea by someone else is still possible);
  • More than one photo with alcohol;
  • Photos on purpose to show tattoos / piercings;
  • Anyone who is “between jobs” or “director at self-employed”;
  • Only party photos;
  • Men who put photos of their children on Tinder, because hello … privacy of your child? Never thought about it? Nothing for Sophie, gone.
  • Men who make sexist jokes in their text or simply indicated only to do some physical interaction;
  • Men who clearly state that they want to have a child, because I’m not really that fast yet and then I will really feel like a brooder / tool;
  • And the last thing I’m least proud of: if I’m not at least a bit attractive … Also gone.

Road, road, road, road … I probably miss someone who is nice because of these criteria, but it saves a lot of time. Because all those matches are going to talk to you too!

Dating on Tinder: the Matches

If you like each other (swipe right), you have a match. A big advantage is that since I have used the strict criteria as above, nobody immediately starts talking about sex. So I can really recommend them! Except of course if that would be exactly what you are looking for. Then make your own criteria to delete. That makes dating on Tinder a lot easier.

Perhaps you now think that at most one man will remain after all these criteria, if you are lucky. But nothing is less true! There are just a lot of men on Tinder, and before I knew it I already knew about 200 matches. And the nice thing is, they are actually mainly intelligent people with whom you can really have a conversation.

It is only a bit of an overkill to date them all too. But really, I can recommend all single moms. In any case, a little chat with a mountain of matches at Tinder is already very pleasant. But seeing what is out there can not hurt either 😛. And to be honest, the evenings can sometimes be a bit lonely when the house is ready and you do not have to work.

Dating on Tinder: the conversations

I mentioned it already, you will then address each other. If you are not going to talk to your matches, you are mainly collecting a few profiles. Despite my intention to talk to everyone, it is perhaps possible to imagine that talking with 200 matches takes a lot of time. So I also guessed that I did not speak to anyone. I was pretty business-like. As soon as I got the “nah” feeling, I indicated this and removed the match. Easy.

But what do you say to each other? What is your opening sentence on Tinder? When I started a conversation, I usually asked a question about something from the profile. And I thought it was the best conversations when they did that to me. The question “How are you?” Or something to that effect, I find quite a buster if you do not know each other yet. I had a lot of very nice conversations! So that is why it is really recommended!

The first date

Now I have had my first date on Sunday, after weeks of apping! Okay, he was not as divinely handsome as on the pictures I had seen 100 times. But much better and more charming than I expected about the app. So all in all, there will certainly be a second date, if at least it’s me.

The side effect of dating on Tinder or other dating sites
It may sound a bit crazy, but I really bloom since I date again. Not as if I was so incredibly unhappy or lonely, but I was just very little concerned with myself. And dating is also a way to get to know yourself a bit better. Men ask you questions, which you yourself do not just have an answer to and so you start thinking about it.

Now that I know more about myself, I can work on taking back the good things of old Sophie, and combining them with the new (and therefore for Emma) caring things for the new Sophie.

What Tinder may not be good for 😉. Oh and I will definitely keep you informed about a possible second date. Any tips for dating moms? Anyone?

Categories
Dating and Relationships Venus

Single mom dating tips

First, get to know someone at a distance.

As a mother you do not have the time to start dating regularly with a relatively unknown person, so first start a chat / app contact with him. Ask for explicit photos, invitations in someone’s own home, appointments that he does not fulfill and Facebook profiles full of women are all obvious signs on the wall that you better cut it off. And there is nothing with a bit of research, I think. Certainly if your time is scarce, you may set some requirements.

When someone botheres you, it usually is not right.

Date tip 2 is a very important one! How annoying is it when you feel you have to be accountable for where you are and what you are doing? As soon as someone starts it when you are not really together, you better stop it immediately. Your gut feeling is extra as a mother and you can now make good use of it! Does ‘something’ tell you that it is not right? Rather than prevent cure, I think myself.

Overloading with gifts is unnecessary

At least, this may be very personal, but I would really like to get to know someone. Gifts say nothing. You can drag me to the Eiffel Tower, give expensive bags or surprise you with a thick watch, but you do not buy anything for the long term. You just want a date with a nice man? He really does not need exorbitant gifts to convince you of his sparkling personality.

Pay a part of your first date

Why? Actually, the reason is very simple. You show him that you are able to fill your own beans, the date remains in balance (some men think they may have expectations after paying a date – no matter how eighteenth-century that is) and it has a surprise effect. Certainly because the majority of the women still do not pay or hardly pay during dates (if I can believe single friends at least, do not pin me down!)

Stick to the ninety days rule

Unfortunately, it works so evolutionarily that men prey on their prey and are basically ready as soon as they have it. In women the other way around. As soon as you postpone the first night of love, men will not only covet you, but also respect you more. Incidentally, I also know examples where a wild night resulted in a good relationship, but this is not the rule.

Do not expect this to be the date of your life

Maybe you will meet a new friend today for the rest of your life. You do not have to have a click, but you take this experience with you. Take this date tip to heart and therefore try not to be too nervous: you are a nice person and ‘the true’ wants to get to know them.

If this is not him or her, then better next time. To high expectations makes it scary, while it is precisely the intention that you will now experience a fun moment? And in the worst cases you can always append a friend with the request to come and rescue you now😉

Do not involve your child with your dates

An open door probably, but as said: this does not always apply to men. “Are we going to do something nice with three of us?” some suggested. I always found that enlightening: saved lost energy in the dating process with someone who put their own interests above that of my daughter. In short, after such a remark I immediately decided.

Only when you are sure of your case does your child come into the picture!